Beer is to the Australians, is what fine wine is to the French, or what tea is to the Chinese, or what Coca-Cola is to the Americans! Of all the many images of Australia, one that is true is their love for an ice, cold beer! And when you live on a continent that is mostly a desert, combined with year-long sunny weather, and most of the population lives near the beach, and most people are of a sports-crazy populace, a beer is a natural choice for quenching ones Aussie thirst.
Of all the brands of beer available, the most popular is arguably Victoria Bitter, or VB Beer. When I was in Australia, I saw this brand of beer advertised everywhere ad nauseam. One commercial ended with the tagline, “VB Beer: It’s full of vitamin P!” Regardless of the tagline, I couldn’t help but laugh at the commercial; I doubt I would ever hear something like that in America, which is strange because we are so skittish over potty-mouth humor, but we are no strangers to stupidity in commercials.
I first tried VB in a restaurant in Alice Springs on the eve of New Year’s Eve in 2008. I ordered a steak, potato, and a saw a tap with the VB logo on it. Eager to taste what the locals have, I was served up a tall stein of the amber-colored nectar. One sip, and it did not taste like any other beer I’ve had. It was cold, refreshing, wasn’t that filling, and wasn’t the least bit bitter, despite the namesake; the beer itself was more a lager than a bitter. Some say that beer isn’t good unless you’re already drunk. Not this kind. After sipping my stein clean, I asked for a refill. After sipping it a second time, I could easily confirm why so many love this brand of brew!
The most important thing I learned about beer in Australia is this:
Australians DO NOT drink Fosters!
This is one of the most misleading ads that society has ever made. In those odd, yet hilarious commercials, you always see stereotypical Australians doing stuff that non-Australians expect native Australians to do like wrestle alligators, surf, or get beaten up at an Aussie Rules Football game. This is less a commercial, and more like a bad joke that appeals to lowbrow American audiences, who aren’t aware that Sydney isn’t the capital of Australia, and no one really dresses up like Crocodile Dundee. The tagline, which goes “Fosters: Australian for Beer!” in that cartoonish Aussie accent, should really say “Foster’s: It’s Cockney for “I can’t believe Americans actually buy this rubbish!”” Not the taste per say, just the Australian inauthenticity. To put it bluntly, Foster’s is as Australian as The Olive Garden is Italian. Wow, the last time I beat up on a lager that much, I was boxing a lumberjack! Ha!
If you must drink with the Aussies, I heavily suggest a tall, cold VB. And no one knows how to combine good times with a drink like the Aussies. Then again, when you are surrounded by joyful sports fans, millions of beachgoers, hot weather, and hot girls, what else can you do but clang your glasses, and shout, “Cheers, Mate!” And as always, please drink responsibly.
Jared,
I love your blog—you do a wonderful job describing “whatever ” the city, town, country, or item you are reviewing—you write very well. I feel like I could visit any one of the places you write about and know what do and also what to avoid—-I think you have a calling!
We had a wonderful time with your family in Kiawah—next summer we will have you all to the UP—I’m sure you could right a very interesting entry on “Garden, MI”.
Keep up the good work—I really look forward to seeing what you do next!
Best, Alisoun Brewster